Monday, 27 July 2009


''It's not me, it's you
Actually, it's the taxidermy of you and me
Untie the balloons from around my neck and ground me
I'm just a racehorse on the track
Send me back to the glue factory
Always thought I'd float away
And never come back
But I've got enough miles on my card
to fly the boys home on my own
But you know me
I like being all alone
And keeping you all alone
Your charts are boring
And your kids are snoring
You say you're not listening and I said I'm wishing..
and I said .. I Saaaaid!! ''

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

why is this happening? now, of all times?

west coast smoker

why do you always take the offensive?
i just want you to be my friend, right now.
three weeks is too long to be mad at someone for something this small.

Monday, 20 July 2009

emotion commotion.

so fed up of having to chase you up for a single conversation.
perhaps the next three weeks will be a welcome break.
plus, i get the added bonus of spending time with that lovely boy who i shall miss so much in september.
i think i like having someone to want.
it gives me focus?
i just get angsty when they don't want me back, and shittily poetic and dramatic when they do.

i guess it just fills the gaps doesn't it?

Sunday, 19 July 2009

heart on sleeve.

Im going to try and be introverted this week, and see where that gets me.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009


Sunday, 12 July 2009


realised why i HATE dealing with guys.
you never get a straight answer, and sometimes you don't get one at all.
bloody bloody. impossible.

please just talk to me.
i need to stop being worried and missing you.

Friday, 10 July 2009

(Now I don't wanna be alone)

i just found my leather bound journal again.
it starts with the plan for the film script i never wrote.

i'd like to be able to stick with something longer than 2 weeks.
like crushes, or ideas.
they kinda have this tendancy to vanish after a while.
i kinda hope this one does before september... :|

or i am going to be fucked.

Thursday, 9 July 2009

not so much want as need.

feeling like every night with you is like a quest.
i wish we were at the end, the victory.
the dragon has been slayed, the princess won.
i wish i could just sink into you.
i wish i knew how to please you,
how to get you.

it's like how, sometimes, but only sometimes, a hug and an 'I love you.' isn't quite enough. you need that little bit more...

self-righteous bullshit.

"so because i wouldn't fuck you, you decided to fuck him instead?"
"uh, pretty much, yeah."

i bet you're just SEETHING from the fact that your supposed gay best-friend isn't so gay after all.
i know it's petty, and i know it's kinda harsh, but fuck you, you need to be taken down a peg, seriously.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

hope this fever will break like a heart easily.

more Skinny than Love and needy as fuck.
this late night/early morning heat
makes me wake at 3 with a fever.
wishing to be waking somewhere cool
with another breathing pattern beside me.
i have a fear of normality,
of routine rather than change.
give me weekends away and lovers
that come and go like chart hits.
but give me comfort once in a while,
and a friend i can kiss without fear
of inevitable mornings of side glances
and afternoons of kicks under the table.

give me your arms, outstretched
and I will try to make them meet.

if you stay too long inside my memory; I will trap you in a song tied to a melody

First with your hands and then with your mouth a downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds I was a fool, you were my friend we made it happen.