here I am, come on;

this is the part where i start reading too much into things and find out nothings changed, we're exactly the same, we just know each other a little better and now we have that connection of flesh that maybe wasnt there before.
i tell you what, i wanted you more than anybody else in the entire world that night.

regarde la mer

let's catch a ferry and make like we got away just in time,
i'm over eager you're half a step behind.

come on girl come on girl, hey! tell me what i gotta say to take you away with me?

Litany.

i trace all my failures back to the notches of your spine

escapism, thats how this works.
burying my head in the sand.

lying on the sofa with my eyes closed, I didnt want to see it this way, everything eating everything in the end. We know how the light works, we know where the sound is coming from. Verse. Chorus. Verse. I'm sorry. We know how it works. The world is no longer mysterious.

Or is this the dream I've been saving?

I love the way old blogs show up in my reading list, even if they've been deleted.
My hair feels smooth, like i just washed it, when in reality it has been a day or two.
I wake up feeling fresh and all my friends are glowing.
There's this feeling we keep getting, like we're drinking in everthing.
Saturating ourselves with each other and the sunlight and these last days.
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong, i WILL miss these years aha. How sad.
So so so so so afraid aswell.

But the feeling in my stomach keeps building.
Soon its gonna crash out and i'm gonna wake up and discover my life has begun.
I guess that's what we're all waiting for, really.

I'm happy and sad at the same time, I guess.
This summer will feel like an endless goodbye, its gonna be pretty hard.
I just want to have the times take the photos play the songs and then move on.
Its sounds harsh. But its the way of the world.

the season's change was the conduit.

I'm drunk enough to drive you home now.

I was dancing with a best friend.
I feel strange when things change like that.
Like it's a bad habit, something i should really have gotten over by now.
I wish i knew what i want.

It's always someone i love more than i should.
And who i cant't have.

i can wait. i can wait.

I can't explain the state that I'm in
The state of my heart, he was my best friend
Into the car, from the back seat
Oh admiration in falling asleep
All of my powers, day after day
I can tell you, we swaggered and swayed
Deep in the tower, the prairies below
I can tell you, the telling gets old
Terrible sting and terrible storm
I can tell you the day we were born
My friend is gone, he ran away
I can tell you, I love him each day
Though we have sparred, wrestled and raged
I can tell you I love him each day
Terrible sting, terrible storm
I can tell you...

chaos

i feel emotionally drained and completley out of sync.

aha;

that was suprisingly easy. :)

not eveything in your life is poetic and dramatic,
just remember that.
we can just BE,
we dont have to be on tip-toes around each other.

god, it's almost summer.
i cannot flipping wait to get out of this shithole
not like, my house. or even my town.
just this whole limbo.
'i feel like butter spread over too much bread'.

i just want change. i say it all the time.
but i really just want things to be different.
i know that when it comes to it,
i'll be real sad and probably scared shitless,
but after that... god its gonna be fucking great. ;)

;

(i hope i dont end up fighting for you, just to win you and then drop you, like i always always have)

I am unfinished.

I'll be like a ghost
Gone when the morning comes.

here's to all the new beginnings we never got back from.

You are encouraged to dance emphatically, manically, even desperately, cause who knows where this is heading?

press the skip button to the end of the night
where i'm falling about catching your eye
i told everyone (and myself)
that it would never happen again
and it did and it does and it will
there's nothing i can do about that.

when goodbye's are actually hello's
and kisses goodnight are just another start-a-fight
that ends in tears and me saying its all ok.
we were never ok i was never ok with you
but somehow the circus ride is still going
around and around and around
tinny music plays and we realise we're stuck in our
old ways.

i will always be delerius for you when it comes to fucking my way out of a situation.
really all i'm doing is creeping back in.
i'd like to be less of a twat, but i cater for one.

i'd like to be able to write about you better too, but that won't happen.
you were always the one who had the way with words...

no laurel tree, just green envy.

I picked you out Of a crowd and talked to you Said I liked your shoes You said thanks can I follow you? So it's up the stairs And out of view No prying eyes I poured some wine I asked your name you asked the time Now it's two o'clock, the club is closed we're up the block Your hands on me I'm pressing hard against your jeans Your tongue in my mouth Trying to keep the words from coming out You didn't care to know Who else may have been you before I want a lover I don't have to love I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure I got the money if you got the time You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try Then my mind went dark We both forgot where your car was parked Let's just take the train I'll meet up with the band in the morning Bad actors with bad habits Some sad singers They just play tragic And the phone's ringing And the van's leaving Let's just keep touching Let's just keep keep singing I want a lover I don't have to love I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk Where's the kid with the chemicals I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full I need some meaning I can memorize The kind I have always seems to slip my mind But you but you You write such pretty words But life's no story book Love's an excuse to get hurt And to hurt "Do you like to hurt?" "I do! I do!" "Then hurt me."

I just want to make a clean escape.

We made love on the living room floor
With the noise in the background of a televised war
And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say
“If we walk away, they’ll walk away”

I am feeling like that was good enough.
Because lust is an instinct, it isnt love.
The future grows brighter every minute,
every second.
Faces will change and so will I.
It's gonna be fucking wicked. ;)

It's not a side effect of the beats.

I am thinking it must be love?

I’ve got the urge to knock you out, and I cant handle this.

seeeeeeriously. get rid.