chaos

i feel emotionally drained and completley out of sync.

aha;

that was suprisingly easy. :)

not eveything in your life is poetic and dramatic,
just remember that.
we can just BE,
we dont have to be on tip-toes around each other.

god, it's almost summer.
i cannot flipping wait to get out of this shithole
not like, my house. or even my town.
just this whole limbo.
'i feel like butter spread over too much bread'.

i just want change. i say it all the time.
but i really just want things to be different.
i know that when it comes to it,
i'll be real sad and probably scared shitless,
but after that... god its gonna be fucking great. ;)

;

(i hope i dont end up fighting for you, just to win you and then drop you, like i always always have)

I am unfinished.

I'll be like a ghost
Gone when the morning comes.

here's to all the new beginnings we never got back from.

You are encouraged to dance emphatically, manically, even desperately, cause who knows where this is heading?

press the skip button to the end of the night
where i'm falling about catching your eye
i told everyone (and myself)
that it would never happen again
and it did and it does and it will
there's nothing i can do about that.

when goodbye's are actually hello's
and kisses goodnight are just another start-a-fight
that ends in tears and me saying its all ok.
we were never ok i was never ok with you
but somehow the circus ride is still going
around and around and around
tinny music plays and we realise we're stuck in our
old ways.

i will always be delerius for you when it comes to fucking my way out of a situation.
really all i'm doing is creeping back in.
i'd like to be less of a twat, but i cater for one.

i'd like to be able to write about you better too, but that won't happen.
you were always the one who had the way with words...

no laurel tree, just green envy.

I picked you out Of a crowd and talked to you Said I liked your shoes You said thanks can I follow you? So it's up the stairs And out of view No prying eyes I poured some wine I asked your name you asked the time Now it's two o'clock, the club is closed we're up the block Your hands on me I'm pressing hard against your jeans Your tongue in my mouth Trying to keep the words from coming out You didn't care to know Who else may have been you before I want a lover I don't have to love I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure I got the money if you got the time You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try Then my mind went dark We both forgot where your car was parked Let's just take the train I'll meet up with the band in the morning Bad actors with bad habits Some sad singers They just play tragic And the phone's ringing And the van's leaving Let's just keep touching Let's just keep keep singing I want a lover I don't have to love I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk Where's the kid with the chemicals I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full I need some meaning I can memorize The kind I have always seems to slip my mind But you but you You write such pretty words But life's no story book Love's an excuse to get hurt And to hurt "Do you like to hurt?" "I do! I do!" "Then hurt me."

I just want to make a clean escape.

We made love on the living room floor
With the noise in the background of a televised war
And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say
“If we walk away, they’ll walk away”

I am feeling like that was good enough.
Because lust is an instinct, it isnt love.
The future grows brighter every minute,
every second.
Faces will change and so will I.
It's gonna be fucking wicked. ;)

It's not a side effect of the beats.

I am thinking it must be love?

I’ve got the urge to knock you out, and I cant handle this.

seeeeeeriously. get rid.

Baby you and I are going out tonight,

Livin' for the weekend. ;)

We're going down swinging.

I envy the man with the gun in the parking lot,
holding a guy up against a wall with no physical force.
He holds someone's life in his fist,
I'd give anything to have that kind of control.

;;call it off

pass me a flamethrower
for fighting colder nights with fiery fists
give me ivory and gold over
car windscreens and white sheets.

Fell out of bed;

What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet
So boycott love detox just to retox
And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life
And perfect boys with their perfect lives
Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy.

ctl.alt.del.

All i ever write about is catching up with me,
I'm leaving everyone for a house by the sea.
I'm your favorite alibi for melodrama,
you wanted to think of yourself as someone who did these kinds of things.
Do I look good or is it just the storybook romance,
That you read to yourself and wish to be living?

Sugar cubes could melt on your tongue
(but i won't no thanks no way
i'm made for greater things than fulfilling your dreams)

Let the city take me away from a worn out record that's a year over-played.

I'm going in for the kill .

We can fight our desires but when we start making fires,
We get ever so hot whether we like it or not.
They say we can love who we trust but what is love without lust?
Two hearts with accurate devotions and what are feelings without emotions?

i cant listen to quiet music at the moment.
everything has to be loud.
it has to take over.